Things that made me laugh this Christmas break

1) Allison always insists we make cornflake wreaths. She's the only one that eats them. Mom put less food coloring in them this year because...well, I won't say.



2) SNL's Christmas Special. JT "bring it on in to homelessville." "Now sip baby, sip" Funny stuff.



3) We went to go see "There's Something About the Morgan's". Mom went up to get her ticket and said "One for Meet the Morgans". Then I said "One for All about the Morgans". Allison blurted out, "That's not the name!!". Lol.



4) The commercial I saw about a cream that helps woman's "unwanted facial hair." Is there such a thing as wanted facial hair on a woman?



5) Allison's friend who was on bed rest from a high risk pregnancy. She was hoping her baby would hold off several more weeks. Her twitter post said, "Baby Jesus is born, baby Jonah is not...all good news." Ha ha.



6) Mom talking about the girl in "Sherlock Holmes." She said "that was the girl in James Bond!" It totally wasn't. Mom always swears someone is an actor in another movie, and she's usually wrong. Lol, it makes me laugh.



7) Hearing Cody on the baby monitor singing to Remy while changing his diaper. I don't remember the song, but I remember it contained the words "booty" "pooty" and "poopy". You can always made a hit song with those lyrics.



8) Remy scooting on the floor pushing a cup. He'd push it and then cry, then scoot, push it then cry. He chased the cup for about 15 minutes.



9) Billy's impressions of people, and his funny voices when he reads the signs along the side of the road.


10) Mom's "Dirty Dancing" move.

Week-end at Bernies

The great thing about having a baby as opposed to a toddler, is you can pretty much take a baby where you want to. You can still eat where you want, shop where you want. Once they start walking and talking, your trips to grown up places turn into trips to the zoo and McDonald's. But, the one place I refuse to take my baby is the movie theatre. I hadn't been to the movies in 6 months! This is an eternity in Heather time. I normally go see every decent movie in the theatres. During the holidays I've been known to see 2 movies in one day! So, you can imagine how difficult this has been for me...and how excited I was when I finally got to go to the movies. I had in planned for over a month. Cody babysat and I went with my friend, Stephanie. What movie did we see? Yep, New Moon. I know, I know, that's probably not considered a "good" movie in the minds of many adults. So, what are "good" movies...Schindler's List, The Godfather? Please, who wants to watch those? I want to watch mindless chick flicks with pretty people and mediocre acting. Want to make it even better? Add music. Twilight the Musical? I'd watch it. That brings me to my favorite TV show, Glee. The storyline is predictable and unrealistic, but the singing and dancing makes me happy. The episode when the football team did a routine to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" was the best thing I've ever seen. I showed it to Cody, and I think he died a little inside, but I almost leaped from the couch with joy when I saw it. Don't deny it, I know many of you feel the same. It reminds me of a quote from another wonderful tv show, Friends. Ross: "Rachel claims this is her favorite movie" Chandler: "Dangerous Liaisons." Ross: "Correct. Her actual favorite movie is?" Joey: "Weekend at Bernie's."

Halloween

I saw a hilarious picture on Twitter of Jim Gaffigan dressed up as a Pirate. It was titled "Fatherhood requires many sacrifices." Whatever Jim, you know you WANTED to dress up as a Pirate. I can't use that as an excuse since Remy doesn't understand the concept of Halloween yet. I obviously wanted to dress up because of how attractive I look in this outfit.We went to Trunk or Treat at our church. We were supposed to be handing out candy to kids, but were more interested in taking pictures. I think most of the kids got fed up with waiting and just passed on by. Sorry kids, we're selfish. My mother-in-law made Remy's football outfit. It turned out awesome! We spent way too much money and time for an hour of fun, but it was totally worth it! I had more fun this Halloween then I've had in years. I typically don't like Halloween, mainly because I hate to be scared. I don't even like to take a walk in my neighborhood in October. My neighbors won't spend any money to power wash their dirty siding or do any decent landscaping. Oh, but they'll spend money on fake tombstones and witches for their yard.

Dang my good job with benefits!

I always knew I'd probably want to be a stay at home mom. When we were first talking about having a baby I knew I wouldn't be able to stay at home right away, and I was ok with it. Flash forward several months later I was standing in my kitchen with my 7 day old newborn and it hit me...I don't want to leave my baby!! I can't remember why I had my baby in the kitchen, but that's beside the point. I knew this would probably happen, and I told myself to give it some time. I still had another 7 weeks at home with him. Well, the dreaded day came when I had to return to work. It was as awful as I had imagined. It wasn't that I worried about his safety or well-being, I just didn't want to be away from him. I thought it would get easier. Just when I thought "I can do this", something would happen. First, Remy got a cold (Why, Lord, Why?!). Then he had to take some formula because I wasn't getting enough milk pumping at work (How will he survive?!), and then after a month I had to find him a new daycare. Everytime one of these occurrences happened, a new meltdown would occur. My mom would talk me off the cliff. My husband would tell me of research that he's read that kids in daycare are smart and have good social skills. I told him I didn't care, I'd rather have a stupid child at home with me. I'd look up scriptures that justified why I should stay at home. I prayed every second of the day. I've been back at work for 2 months now. It has gotten a little easier. The other day, I left out 2 bags of breastmilk all night and, I am happy to say, nobody was hospitalized because of it. I still want to be a stay at home mom. My husband knows that, God certainly knows that. So, I feel I can stop having to vocalize it every second of the day. It's not good for me or my family. It doesn't help that Remy is such a good baby. Sure, he gets cranky if he's tired or hungry, but who doesn't? He wakes up smiling and he's content just rolling around on the floor trying to eat his foot. Who wouldn't want to spend all day with that?

Unrealistic Fear

I am a worrier. I come from a long line of worriers, so I blame my family heritage...namely, my mother. She would call my me and my sister into the living room to watch Oprah anytime she had a show about a kidnapper, child molester or stalker. I'm 27 and she still says to me "be aware of your surroundings" and "call me when you get there." She can't help it, my grandpa still does the same to her and she's 50 something. My dad doesn't help either, he's constantly sending me articles about how vaccines cause Autism, cell phones cause cancer and non-stick pans are the worst thing you could ever use. Vaccines are a double whammy because not only do I worry about the vaccines, if I don't give Remy them all I just know all the kids in his daycare are going to give him Polio and the Whooping cough. I hate it when I have really unrealistic fears...like when that serial killer was in North Carolina, I worried for a week that a serial killer was going to get me. And, I admit for a brief moment, I actually thought "What if Obama is the Antichrist?" But what the absolute worst is when I get a silly fear that I can't stop dwelling on. For example, when I forgot to turn off a co-workers computer at the end of the day after she reminded to. I actually worried about it all week-end. Why, who cares? What is the worse that could happen, seriously? Or, my most recent work worry...the annual Managers Excellence Conference..aka torture. I was the only one there from my department, which meant I was basically a new kid at a new school. I had to mix and mingle with other managers that I didn't know. We had to do all these "team building" exercises. By the end of the day, I was literally standing on a 4 by 4 wood platform with 9 other managers (including my Vice President!) singing Mary had a Little Lamb. But, you know what...I survived. I don't know why I worry. My sister has been telling me I need to do a blog...but I haven't because I worry. What if I'm not interesting, what if I offend someone, what is someone stalks me and comes and gets me (thanks mom)? Well, here's to conquering my fears.