For the love, will you put on a shirt!

Cody and I had a date night last week-end for my birthday. Dinner and a Movie (Date Night!...hence the title of this blog entry. See the movie, and you'll get it). While we were out, it got me thinking of how different a married date is compared to a first date. So, here's a list of how things would have been different if it had been a first date:

1) I would have washed my hair that day.

2) I wouldn't have told Cody where to park at the restaurant.

3) I wouldn't have told Cody to put his phone away (but I would have thought it).

4) I wouldn't have texted at the table (I would have waited to do that when I went to the bathroom).

5) Cody wouldn't have said inappropriate things to me all night.

6) I wouldn't have ordered the asparagus, because it cost more and I would have felt bad.

7) Cody wouldn't have questioned my appetizer choice.

8) I wouldn't have sung very loudly and offf key to the radio as we were driving to the movie.

9) We wouldn't have talked about our baby boy.

10) It wouldn't have been near as much fun.

I love Cody so much, and I am so excited when we get to go out. His birthday was the 21st, and he somehow got several restaturant gift cards for his birthday. More date nights, oh yeah!

Mercy Mocha

Don’t you like how you always decide to start to eat healthier and give up soda just AFTER eating a 2 cheeseburger meal with an XLARGE Dr Pepper? Yeah, that decision lasts until the sugar/fat buzz wears off. Fast food sucks me in. It’s fast, and it’s food. Two of my favorite things. It’s “I’m lazy” food. It’s “I don’t even have to get out of my car” food. If there weren’t drive-throughs I wouldn’t eat it as much. Why? I’m lazy. I’m not about to tote Remy into a Taco Bell, that would require too much muscle. My window was broken awhile back, and I did go into a Taco Bell during my lunch hour just to get a free large drink with a coupon. They looked at me as if I were insane. When I was in college Allie and I went to Target to get something to cook for dinner. I said "I don't want anything here." She looked at me and said, "Heather, they have EVERY FOOD." Ha ha. What I really meant, is I wanted something greasy and fried that I didn't have to cook. So, I’ve learned how to eat healthier and to stop drinking soda. Willpower, you ask? Willpower Schmilpower. I just use my laziness to my advantage. First of all, don’t carry cash. Easy. Second, don’t have sweets or candy in the house. I accomplish this by doing my grocery shopping when I’m full. If I have a dozen chocolate chip cookies in the house, I will eat them in 2 days. If I have 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies in the house, I will eat them in 2 days. You get the idea. My other obstacle, Mercy Mocha. Mercy Mocha is the little coffee shop right NEXT to my office. It’s filled with sugary coffee treats, soda and muffin deliciousness. Yes, there’s healthy options like hard boiled eggs, yogurt and organic granola…but that’s hard to pick when it’s sitting next to the pop-tarts. And, my no cash policy doesn’t work because guess what? They take payroll deduct. That’s right…I’m just one badge swipe away from a Milky Way Mocha or a bag of cheetos. So, this does require a little willpower. But, if I can make it until 1:30 pm, then I’m good. Mercy Mocha closes at 1:30 (see sign). If they were open until 3:00, I’d be in trouble. Once 3 pm hits, I want something salty, and then I want something sweet and fizzy. Why do I love this caramel colored fizzy sugar water so much? I’ve gone long stretches of time with no soda, hoping I’ll outgrow my likeness for it. But, once I give in and have one, all I can say is “Ah, I missed you.” I am getting better, but I’m not there yet. I’m still mourning the loss of my crappy food. But, I do feel so much better when I eat my veggies and drink my agua. Someday I’ll be one of these people who say they’d rather have carrot sticks than French fries. Someday.

I love naps, but I love Jesus more.

Every mother of a nap-taking child hates Sundays (Sorry Lord). The day completely messes up their schedules. Some people say you don't want to be one of "those" moms who let your life revolve around your baby's schedule. I say the heck I don't. Not because I'm worried about my child, but because it makes my life miserable. When baby is happy, mom is happy. When baby sleeps, mommy can clean the house. OK, not really...but I can watch "The Housewives of New York" on Tivo. Some of you might have babies who can sleep during anything, and let me tell you you're lucky. Remy has to have a perfect sleeping environment. He must have eaten, pooped, burped and be in his own room with no new stimuli. This last Sunday we went to the in-laws for lunch after church. I was "lucky" to wake up with a sore throat from allergies, so I kept him home from Sunday school so he at least got his morning nap. When it came time for his afternoon nap he was so enthralled with the posters and pictures on his Aunt Hannah's walls that he would not go to sleep. He just kept pointing at the picture of Marilyn Monroe on the wall and grunting. I know son, she's pretty. Cody finally got him to sleep and then he put him down in the bed. Ah, victory. Until he opened the squeaky door and Remy shot up out of the pack and play and started crying. The next trip to Grandma and Grandpa's I am taking a can of WD-40. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. Easter Sunday is even worse than a regular Sunday. It's a Holiday and a Sunday on the same day. Ugh, that's a double nap-killer. At least he was too distracted by the eggs to remember he was hungry and tired. The picture of him crying was the BEGINNING of the day, not the end. My Sunday routine after church includes changing his diaper, removing any uncomfortable clothing, rushing him to the car as people try to get him to smile and laugh, and get him in his car seat. Then, I feed him lunch in car seat (I'm not kidding). That way, if he falls asleep on the way home I can just transfer him to his bed. Ugh, I'm tired just typing this. It would be really wonderful if the church would agree to change their schedule around Remy's. Is that too much to ask?

Things that made me laugh this Christmas break

1) Allison always insists we make cornflake wreaths. She's the only one that eats them. Mom put less food coloring in them this year because...well, I won't say.



2) SNL's Christmas Special. JT "bring it on in to homelessville." "Now sip baby, sip" Funny stuff.



3) We went to go see "There's Something About the Morgan's". Mom went up to get her ticket and said "One for Meet the Morgans". Then I said "One for All about the Morgans". Allison blurted out, "That's not the name!!". Lol.



4) The commercial I saw about a cream that helps woman's "unwanted facial hair." Is there such a thing as wanted facial hair on a woman?



5) Allison's friend who was on bed rest from a high risk pregnancy. She was hoping her baby would hold off several more weeks. Her twitter post said, "Baby Jesus is born, baby Jonah is not...all good news." Ha ha.



6) Mom talking about the girl in "Sherlock Holmes." She said "that was the girl in James Bond!" It totally wasn't. Mom always swears someone is an actor in another movie, and she's usually wrong. Lol, it makes me laugh.



7) Hearing Cody on the baby monitor singing to Remy while changing his diaper. I don't remember the song, but I remember it contained the words "booty" "pooty" and "poopy". You can always made a hit song with those lyrics.



8) Remy scooting on the floor pushing a cup. He'd push it and then cry, then scoot, push it then cry. He chased the cup for about 15 minutes.



9) Billy's impressions of people, and his funny voices when he reads the signs along the side of the road.


10) Mom's "Dirty Dancing" move.

Week-end at Bernies

The great thing about having a baby as opposed to a toddler, is you can pretty much take a baby where you want to. You can still eat where you want, shop where you want. Once they start walking and talking, your trips to grown up places turn into trips to the zoo and McDonald's. But, the one place I refuse to take my baby is the movie theatre. I hadn't been to the movies in 6 months! This is an eternity in Heather time. I normally go see every decent movie in the theatres. During the holidays I've been known to see 2 movies in one day! So, you can imagine how difficult this has been for me...and how excited I was when I finally got to go to the movies. I had in planned for over a month. Cody babysat and I went with my friend, Stephanie. What movie did we see? Yep, New Moon. I know, I know, that's probably not considered a "good" movie in the minds of many adults. So, what are "good" movies...Schindler's List, The Godfather? Please, who wants to watch those? I want to watch mindless chick flicks with pretty people and mediocre acting. Want to make it even better? Add music. Twilight the Musical? I'd watch it. That brings me to my favorite TV show, Glee. The storyline is predictable and unrealistic, but the singing and dancing makes me happy. The episode when the football team did a routine to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" was the best thing I've ever seen. I showed it to Cody, and I think he died a little inside, but I almost leaped from the couch with joy when I saw it. Don't deny it, I know many of you feel the same. It reminds me of a quote from another wonderful tv show, Friends. Ross: "Rachel claims this is her favorite movie" Chandler: "Dangerous Liaisons." Ross: "Correct. Her actual favorite movie is?" Joey: "Weekend at Bernie's."

Halloween

I saw a hilarious picture on Twitter of Jim Gaffigan dressed up as a Pirate. It was titled "Fatherhood requires many sacrifices." Whatever Jim, you know you WANTED to dress up as a Pirate. I can't use that as an excuse since Remy doesn't understand the concept of Halloween yet. I obviously wanted to dress up because of how attractive I look in this outfit.We went to Trunk or Treat at our church. We were supposed to be handing out candy to kids, but were more interested in taking pictures. I think most of the kids got fed up with waiting and just passed on by. Sorry kids, we're selfish. My mother-in-law made Remy's football outfit. It turned out awesome! We spent way too much money and time for an hour of fun, but it was totally worth it! I had more fun this Halloween then I've had in years. I typically don't like Halloween, mainly because I hate to be scared. I don't even like to take a walk in my neighborhood in October. My neighbors won't spend any money to power wash their dirty siding or do any decent landscaping. Oh, but they'll spend money on fake tombstones and witches for their yard.

Dang my good job with benefits!

I always knew I'd probably want to be a stay at home mom. When we were first talking about having a baby I knew I wouldn't be able to stay at home right away, and I was ok with it. Flash forward several months later I was standing in my kitchen with my 7 day old newborn and it hit me...I don't want to leave my baby!! I can't remember why I had my baby in the kitchen, but that's beside the point. I knew this would probably happen, and I told myself to give it some time. I still had another 7 weeks at home with him. Well, the dreaded day came when I had to return to work. It was as awful as I had imagined. It wasn't that I worried about his safety or well-being, I just didn't want to be away from him. I thought it would get easier. Just when I thought "I can do this", something would happen. First, Remy got a cold (Why, Lord, Why?!). Then he had to take some formula because I wasn't getting enough milk pumping at work (How will he survive?!), and then after a month I had to find him a new daycare. Everytime one of these occurrences happened, a new meltdown would occur. My mom would talk me off the cliff. My husband would tell me of research that he's read that kids in daycare are smart and have good social skills. I told him I didn't care, I'd rather have a stupid child at home with me. I'd look up scriptures that justified why I should stay at home. I prayed every second of the day. I've been back at work for 2 months now. It has gotten a little easier. The other day, I left out 2 bags of breastmilk all night and, I am happy to say, nobody was hospitalized because of it. I still want to be a stay at home mom. My husband knows that, God certainly knows that. So, I feel I can stop having to vocalize it every second of the day. It's not good for me or my family. It doesn't help that Remy is such a good baby. Sure, he gets cranky if he's tired or hungry, but who doesn't? He wakes up smiling and he's content just rolling around on the floor trying to eat his foot. Who wouldn't want to spend all day with that?